STEVE AND JOE
by Ryan Dickie


(Scene opens with Steve driving down the street stressed out and banging the steering wheel. He pulls into a gas station and sits in a parking spot. He looks down at his lap where a ring in a box sits.)

Steve (v/o)
Where did all this begin? Well, she�ll tell you it was eight months ago. I�ll tell you its when I was 14. See, ever since then I�ve been a smoker.

(Cut to montage of images of Steve smoking; as a teen, in the morning, while he�s working out, in the shower etc.)

Steve (v/o)
Then I met Joanna. She�s everything I�ve ever looked for in a girl. Smart, funny, and no criminal record, I didn�t want to leave her side.

(Cut to shot of Joanna and Steve interacting in various situations; meeting each other, at dinner, watching a movie etc.)

Steve (v/o)
But then she threw down the gauntlet, and it changed everything.

(Cut to Joanna and Steve on the couch)

Joanna
Steve, I think that I want you to stop smoking.

Steve
Are you sure?

Joanna
Well, I don�t want to run your life but I just think that smell and taste of tobacco is pretty fowl.

Steve
Well I don�t know, I�ve been smoking more than a pack a day for almost a decade.

Joanna
I know. I know it�ll be tough but I think that you can do it because you�re the love of my life and you�d do anything for me right?

Steve
Well if its that important to you, then yes, I�ll quit for you. Smoking messes up my yoga anyway.

Joanna
Oh Steve, thank you.

(Cut to Steve leaving the house and getting his car and slamming on the steering wheel)

Steve
DAMNIT! GODDAMNIT!

(Steve honks the horn on accident)

(Joanna comes to the window to see what�s going on)

Joanna
Is everything all right out there?

Steve (startled by Joanna)
Oh hey what�s up, I was just checking it to see if umm, the battery, radiator was intact�bye.

(Cut to montage of scenes with Steve trying to quit the habit; trying to chew with a mouthful of gum; nicotine patches all over his body, drinking his fifth health shake in a row.)

Steve (v/o)
I tried everything. The gum, patch, you name it. None of it worked. The cravings were almost unbearable. I decided one morning while staring down my half empty pack that my ol� friend nicotine had taken my eyes away from the most important things in life, like Joanna.

(Steve picks up the pack of smokes and chucks it in the garbage)

Steve
Damn you!

(Cut to Steve driving again from the opening scene.)

Steve (v/o)
Once I finally put away the smokes, I knew that if I could really quit something I loved so much for something I loved even more, it must be something special. I decided then and there that I didn�t ever want to quit Joanna, so I would propose to her and make her my wife. Only problem is, I don�t know if she feels the same way.

Steve
Oh what the hell, what�s one last time gonna hurt?

(Cut to Steve in parking lot from the opening. He walks inside, buys a pack of smokes, gets back in the car and sucks one down. He pulls into Joanna�s house and goes up to the door.)

Joanna
Hey you.

Steve
Hey.

(He enters the house and immediately gets down on his knees in the living room)

Steve
Joanna, today I realized that you are the most important thing in my life and always will be. I never want to loose you because I feel that we have something more special than anything I�ve ever experienced. Joanna, will you be my wife?

Joanna (tears in her eyes)
Yes Steve, I will.

(The couple embraces and after a pause, Joanna�s face turns from joy to bitterness after taking a whiff of Steve)

Joanna
Steve, have you been smoking?

Steve
What? Oh, yeah, I had the last one on the way over here cause I was so nervous about us and�

Joanna
I don�t ever want to see you again. I�ll never be able to trust another word you say.

Steve
But Joe I just�

Joanna
Just get out, don�t come back.

(With a horrified look on his face, Steve exits her apartment and goes out to the curb outside of her house. He grabs the pack of Camels out of his pocket and tries to light it with no luck.)

Steve
AAAHHHH!!!

(Suddenly his cries are put to an end by the lighting of a Zippo in front of his face. He hesitantly moves his cigarette to the flame and lights the smoke.)

Stranger
I hate when you can�t get those cheap bics to flick. Hi, I�m Carrie.

(The beautiful stranger extends her hand to our hero Steve, who gives the camera a look of sunshine on an otherwise rainy day. Cut to black.)

� Ryan Dickie, 2003